


Alexander

by A_dot_Gab



Series: Only Sane Man AU [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: DO NOT DO THIS, Mental Illness, Other, alex overworks himself, but you've all waited long enough, herc is a worried parent, i tried i really did, i'm not happy with this, manic depressive, please help me fix this, this is not healthy behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6378733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_dot_Gab/pseuds/A_dot_Gab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A focus on Alexander in this universe</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Background

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. The first was an accident that I posted just because. The next two were easy to write. I've been through most of what I wrote for those. This one I was never satisfied with. I'd appreciate any assistance you're willing to give. Take care.

Alex was raised in a deeply religious foster couple’s home, so it comes as no surprise that they called it ‘the demon in him’ and taught him that aid from other people was not the answer to his struggles with alternating “over-excitability” and “laziness”. Somehow, the necessity of prayer as the cure was lost in translation, but Alex had always been stubborn. Unyielding tenacity had been required of him his entire life. He lived on will power when he caught the same illness that took his mother. He did it again when he found his cousin’s body and decided not to use the last bullet in the gun for himself. And a third time, laying on a roof he had no memory of climbing, languishing in the hot sun and hoping the flood waters that had accompanied the worst hurricane St. Croix had seen in years didn’t rise enough to take him too. It was how he lived. Seemingly indomitable willpower. Even when one of the counselors at his high school called in a favor for a free psych evaluation that led to a proper diagnosis of Manic-Depressive Disorder, Alex shrugged and powered through it. Nothing was going to stop him except for death itself. And so it went until he met Lafayette. The two were inseparable after a week. And since wherever Laf went, Herc followed, Alex grew to care for him too. They became the first people he told about his past, his mother, his cousin, the storm, all of it, and they were there to help him rest, get him going, and do whatever was needed to make sure he was healthy as could be. There were days when he wouldn’t let them, or fought so vehemently that anyone else would be tempted to give up, but they loved their little lion too much and refused to be deterred from caring. Eventually, Alex came around completely, allowed Laf to drag him out of bed when he wanted to sleep for years, allowed Herc to put him to bed when the world seemed to be at his fingertips 80 some consecutive hours awake be damned, allowed himself to be vulnerable and let other people care for him. To his surprise, it made life better. He was still driven, but no longer as desperate. He’d finally found a balance between fierce independence and reliance on others. And (most of the time) his changes stuck with him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried. I'm sorry.

"Open the door, Alexander." Hercules firmly commands. The sound of typing from inside the dorm doesn't stop. It doesn't even slow. "Alexander," Hercules calls again, irritation warring with concern. This time, the typing does stop. And then there's a thud. "Shit," Hercules swears quietly, glancing up and down the hallway. Finding it clear, he takes a knee to pick the lock. 'First, make sure he's ok.' Hercules thinks, attempting to calm himself with a semblance of a plan, 'Then, kill him for stealing my fucking key!' The lock clicks open without breaking and Hercules barges into the room. Alexander is laying on the floor, the computer on his desk still open to an overly long word document. There's a coffee cup, mostly empty, sitting nearby. Hercules frowns; Alexander has apparently lied to him about substances as well. He crosses the room to the prone form on the floor and stoops down. Alexander is breathing, slow and steady. As Hercules reaches out to check his pulse, his eyes flutter open.

"Hey Herc," he greets, voice cracking. "How'd you get in here?" Hercules resists the urge to let out a long-suffering sigh.

"I picked the lock when I heard you pass out, Alexander." Hercules answers. "Also, you're going to bed." Alexander shifts in an attempt to recoil from Hercules' touch.

"I have work to do. I can't stop." Alex pleads. "I stop and I'll swing back to being useless, to being nothing, to-" the rest comes out in a mumble as Hercules claps a hand over Alex's still running mouth.

"Bed." Hercules firmly insists. "I understand you're coming off a manic swing and it's not easy knowing you're going to lose your motivation but this isn't healthy either." he reasons, hoping Alex will cooperate. The exhausted man begins to cry instead.

"I can't Hercules, please!" he whimpers, before turning to reach for his computer again. Hercules reaches up and shuts the computer. Alex's sniffling and whimpers turn to sobs that wrack his entire frame, adding to his already noticeable shaking. Hercules picks him up off the floor and tucks him into bed. Even as his eyes are closing, Alex begs, "Don't make me Herc, don't make me. I'll do anything, anything please. . ." his voice fades to quiet as exhaustion overtakes him. Hercules sits in Alex's chair, head in his hands, the knowledge of what's to come heavy on his shoulders. Tomorrow, Alex will cry, refuse to leave his bed, claim he is a failure and deserves to die. Hercules will try not to get scared enough to call health services (a burden he will bear mostly alone since he doesn't want Laf to feel even more anxious than usual) and after a couple hours he'll drag Alex back out of bed, coax him into showering and eating, and hope he stabilizes enough to go to class the day after. It's all happened before. He can handle it. They can handle it. Alex is going to be alright.


End file.
